I have been on a social experiment
for the past one month. My lovely friend Angela and I had a discussion about
friends and seasons. She was frustrated at the fact that people, especially
women were opinionated on stuff that they shouldn't be. According to her, women
could be very annoying and had a tendency to impose their personal opinions
without considering someone’s personal circumstances.
She gave me numerous examples of conversations
she had with her friends and they were cringeworthy. After my chat with Angela,
I decided to change tact in my general conversations with acquaintances and
friends. I started to throw random statements in my conversations and I would
then watch out for reactions from the people I was talking to.
On the first day, I told a friend
whom I was talking to that I was thinking of quitting my job. Now a typical
response that I would normally expect from a person who cared about me would be
along lines such as " why? Don't you like your job anymore? Have you
found something better? ". However my friend responded by saying "No!
You can't just quit your job....." and then she proceeded to have a ten minute
monologue with herself on why it was the wrong decision for me to take. As you
can imagine, I was left stunned at her abrupt and firm opinion on an issue that
had nothing to do with her.
Two days later I met another friend
to whom I casually said that I would be moving houses from her neighborhood to
an out of town location. She was not pleased
at all. She immediately began telling me why it did not make any financial
sense to relocate to another town. She explained that I would then have to start
commuting from my new location to my workplace in town. She wondered why I
wanted to incur additional costs and spend more time in such a commute. I admit
that she did sound like she had a valid argument. However, am I not an adult
entitled to my own decisions and choices in life? Furthermore did she not think
that I had thought through different options? You would imagine that she would
cut me some slack.
I noticed the issue on moving houses
was quite emotive, so when I speaking to another friend on phone I brought up the
topic with her. I mentioned to her that we would be moving houses to a
different location. She immediately remarked, "…you have finally decided
to get on the property ladder." “Mmhh …no, we are renting.” I
responded. She then went on to say that she
did not understand why we were still renting. She told me how it didn't make
any sense at all, and she went on and on about property equity …bla bla bla.
She never asked if that was what we wanted. She even didn't ask if we were
downgrading or upgrading houses. All that she had were just opinions, opinions,
and opinions.
Finally on Monday this week, I met a
friend whom I told that I didn't think everyone was called to have children!! This
seemed to strike a raw nerve in her and she came close to telling me that I was
a very wicked person. She was angry beyond words and reminded me that the first
commandment God gave to man was to be fruitful and to multiply. She emphatically
said that every married couple should expect, pray and trust to have children
within the first nine months of their marriage. Wow!
After my encounters, I concluded that
Angela was right after all. We often walk around with deeply rooted opinions on
how best to run other people’s lives. What puzzles me is how everyone seems to
know how other people ought to run their lives but not their own.
Note to self this week, Make it my
ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind my business and to work with my hands.
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