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Friday 6 October 2017

Please don't judge her she pleads

Let's call her Amy. She is in a dilemma and we thought if we put it out there you would help her.
I've known Amy for about 3 years. She is married and has two beautiful girls aged 5 and 3. She was pregnant when she got married and so she hasn't been married for long.

Her husband Alex, works long hours and quite far so the commute is not easy. By the time he gets home, he is so exhausted, he just wants to have his dinner and go to bed. Weekends are always so hectic with kids activities which haven't been of interest to him lately. It's so bad that a few weeks ago she caught him sleeping while on a supermarket queue. This has been going on for about 3 years now and Amy has been feeling lonely. They hardly chat, let alone have a date night.

One morning after the school run she bumped into an old friend who had recently moved into the area. It was such a pleasant surprise and it felt so good to have someone that she can have an adult conversation with. He was on his way to the gym and they agreed they would meet up for coffee.

They eventually had a coffee date (i wanted to call it meeting because date sounds dodgy). They talked about mutual friends, the weather, latest movies and boring stuff that adults talk about. It was so refreshing. He invited her to join the gym so they could do some training together but she is not into such stuff so she was non-committal.

A few weeks ago she realised that she was developing feelings for the guy. Not because anything happened between them but because he actually took time to compliment her and listen. She loves her husband, or so she says, but she is finding herself thinking more and more of the guy.
She feels that she is on a slippery slope but can't help herself. She was thinking of discussing it with her husband.

One of us thinks that's the worst thing that she can do and that she should grow up and stop crushing on single men. This will only destroy her family. Having such a conversation would break her husbands trust and she may never regain it.

Another lady thinks that if she discusses it with her husband, he will be glad she was honest and work with her towards dealing with the root cause.

The only thing we all agreed on was that it wasn't wise to continue conveniently bumping into this guy. And no more coffee dates.

What do you think?